5.27.2008

Diana Ross

Yesterday I watched Dreamgirls, a movie which is partly based on the rise to fame of Motown girl group, The Supremes, and their leader, the legendary diva, Diana Ross. While watching I was reminded of something: Diana Ross is completely nuts.

OK, I know that she has like a bajillion number 1 singles and an Oscar nod for her role as Billie Holiday in Lady Sings the Blues. Not to mention starring roles in Mahogany, The Wiz, and Double Platinum (ha!). Also I just found out (according to my trusted colleague, Wikipedia) that she has not 1 but 2 stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame! In other words Diana Ross is a total icon.

But despite this litany of honors that Ms. Ross has achieved, when I think of her, the first thing that comes to mind is the time she felt up Lil Kim at the 1999 VMAs. The fact that this is my foremost memory of Diana can be partially attributed to the fact that I am a proud member of the MTV generation and have only been alive for the sunset of her career. But it is also due to the fact that Diana Ross is absolutely crazy and so is grabbing Lil Kim’s boob on national TV. After the incident she went on Larry King and blamed her maternal instincts: “You get caught up in the MTV Awards and I just...I was acting like a mother, to say 'Why are you doing this?’”

Now I don’t know about you, but I consider this to be a perfectly legitimate excuse. Really I do. If anyone needs a stern mother, Lil Kim does. But then Diana goes and gets herself detained for the exact same thing a month later at London’s Heathrow Airport. Supposedly while being examined at a checkpoint she felt that she was violated by a female security guard. In response, she then fondled the same guard saying, “This is how it feels to be fondled.” I love it. I can’t imagine anything funnier than a skinny old crazy lady with an explosion of hair fondling an airport security guard.

I leave you with this clip of Diana Ross at the 1994 World Cup where she misses a penalty kick (and then the net collapses?). I love her red track suit because it reminds me of my grade school gym teacher, who coincidentally was also completely crazy.

1 comment:

N said...

It's embarrassing, but I admit that the Lil Kim fiasco is my main memory of Diana Ross too! By the way, when I was in Mexico I saw a store at the mall called "Liz Minelli" that exclusively sold tacky, rhinestone encrusted prom dress rejects. I was going to take a picture for an installment of my Covert Phone Pictures, but I didn't have my phone or a camera, so I guess this will just have to live on in my memory.